gone home, still afraid

by woods wayward

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Jonathan Rocha
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Jonathan Rocha What could I say, Woods Wayward is one of my best friends. I love his beautiful soul, it shows in his music and personality. His music is real, and it takes me away to a better place where I find true happiness.

P.S. I will always love you. Favorite track: i will never feel the same.
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recorded in my dorm room and out in the open over a couple of years


released July 21, 2014



all rights reserved


Hollandinspirit Los Angeles, California

Eddie Hernandez

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Track Name: tokyo bluesy
drained the bloodstains
woke up such a bore
oh won't you help me?
I can't get him off the floor

making breakfast
practicing the skills
of moving forward
while strange, mentally ill

i needed more than
just some time to kill
i needed someone
a proper lover i could fill

straight out the window
you will only find
that blue is precious
and you could love it in due time

i stopped trying
trying to find myself
i learned to think that
i guess there's always someone else

since he's so smart
find a weapon you would choose
i'm left with nothing
so now there's nothing left to lose

i took the beat of
the times i toss and turn
and keep a measure
of how a loss is my concern

it's cold in tokyo
morning's here again
i'm feeling bluesy
in an age of play pretend
Track Name: i will never feel the same
and i hate how you think about the summer,
"it's as good as it can get"
you aren't the things you did when you were younger,
consider giving it a rest

well tell me how i make you feel like shit
do I seem like a hypocrite?
is this something I should tell my shrink?
now and then i think
is this really how it has to be?

don't you feel lucky and not so sad that you've lost everything?
you should feel lucky and not so mad that i'm not answering

and what was that you said about december,
"it's the lowest point i know?"
i'll never understand just how you miss me
but there's nowhere that can go

i keep my eyes out for an open door
for lines i don't hear anymore
and i sulk in all your fallacies
well can i ask one thing,
why is it that you've come back for me?

don't you feel lucky and not so mad that i'm not answering?
you should feel lucky and not so sad that you've lost everything

don't i feel, i should feel lucky instead quite bad that you're not listening
should i feel, i should feel lucky but i'm alright with the worst happening

and autumn's come
things could have been better
but with my habit to blame
i will never feel the same
Track Name: haletant
there's a factory running in my apartment bed
with all my supposed lovers i wish i'd never met
they say my life's a stage but this is so well-arranged
oh who can see what's only make believe?
and i spend my time trying to make them popular
in hopes that they turn out to be like her
and now my soul is my own hell
my mind's the bottom of a well in which i sink
abandoned the machine
and focus on how

you used to sleep
i watched you stand there
you used to rest
i spent the night there
now everyday
you pray for dreaming of me
you always thought of me
and i sit still while tides blow over
the coldest shoulder
my morning sickness repeats
buried in my sheets
till i'm gone

fine you win this
i can't help this
this is sadness satisfaction
now you're wasted
with your selfishness
you try to help me
cause i'm not healthy
and i hate myself again
heard fucking up is the latest trend
policy of whiskey is i'm always drawn

make me a deal you'll never promise
don't be so real, don't be so honest
i always knew the perfect girl for me
didn't care to see she was meant for
for being young but always mutable
so she's been done with being beautiful
now broken glass tramples under her feet
she walks with disbelief
and in my dreams im getting older
the light moves closer
its quite the pleasure to be in my own privacy
but im wrong

in time i'll find a friend to forget what i had back then
this won't last forever, no i won't be here for long
and you speak so damn offhand
too violent to understand
baby i'm not crazy it's just these drugs i'm on
Track Name: everyone is your therapist
born without a broken taste
learned to feel it all today
careless never was enough
but it sure as hell shut me up

carry yourself so close to the edge
i try to figure you out but soon I forget
why you carry yourself too close to the edge
i try to figure you out but soon I forget why

fear of open arms at night
she's okay, I'm not alright

All in all it's clear to see
Heart to hearts don't sit with me
Who can say I'm losing my mind
Nothing left to pass the time

learning to lose the one you love
given the life that you gave up
learning to lose the one you love
given the life that you gave up

fear of clinging on too tight
fear of strangers in my sight
fear of open arms at night
she's okay, I'm not alright

not okay, not alright
Track Name: pabst loves
forest fire's gone
no need for response
misunderstood your leave
you tried your best with me

seems I'm falling, falling away from you

past loves in my head
for the night drive
they know I'm upset
i'll make another scene alright
and know I'm not finished, out of spite
to keep falling, falling away from you

now, you're a soiled soul
you've had it all but your self-control
and I'm hurt by the liquid courage
i'm feeling this is a mid-life crisis

i never meant to work it out

cause no one's ever gonna help me out
i've been trying hard to help me out
no one's ever gonna hurt you now
Track Name: 1997
father reaching brighter light
surprise i can't believe I'm still alive
paralyzed in bed

i got the notion that you cared
i got the feeling you were never there
pretty's in my head

setting myself straight
i've got a well-known appetite
for staying up this late
and i can't say i'm doing alright

morning’s in, i’m still awake
holy ghost has honored my decay
drag me out this time

waited for new heaven-sends
now heaven's gate awaits my life again
i will feel divine

setting myself straight
i’ve got a well-known appetite
for staying up this late
and i can’t say i’m doing alright

setting myself straight
i've got a well-known appetite
i’m staying up this late
to see if i might die tonight
Track Name: detrimental body ache
hit me with another blow
therapeutic comatose
lock me in the catacombs
underneath my parents home

what a fucking waste of space
hyperventilation breaks
make a plan to eat today
but plans don't always go my way

and that's the best that i can do
no more putting out for you
i'll die before i'm someone new
i'll sure as hell be happy to
well my friends never wanted facts
i told them that i made a pact
that one day i just won’t come back
and love them through the life i lack

now violence is dead
it’s in my head
and i’m in debt
when i deserve prominence for
the things i worked hard to be
the things i fought hard to see
the things i took extensively
to stray my mind in disbelief

be here for my dying sake
detrimental body ache
portraits of honest mistakes
breaking down while feels plays

blinds are closed inside the room
sentimental flag salute
heard above my parents’ roof
their child’s built a life for you
their child’s built a life for you